Acceptance Without Resistance

Education

Jul 27

"Awareness Of Present Experience, With Acceptance"

This quote by Bernie Clark, the beloved Yin Yoga teacher, reframes our notion of mindfulness. It’s a complex invitation, simply stated: can we be present to the current moment, and accept it for what it is?

This invitation towards mindfulness keeps peering at me, one long finger asking me to come hither and explore its depths. It squinted expectantly at me when I found a blueberry smoothie spattered across the living room like a renegade sprinkler set free in a hurricane. It glared at me when our refrigerator compressor died, leaving unsuspectingly rotting food and puddles of water to wake up to. Especially now, with my two busy kids on summer break, this summons towards mindfulness is an area of deep work for me.

Did you spy its encouraging gaze when you narrowed your eyes to slits after seeing your “broke” friend went out again last night? Did it raise a brow when you picked a choice finger to wave after you got cut off again on the southbound freeway by the driver of some obnoxiously raised truck?

We often react impulsively to irritating situations. And, while sometimes a quick reaction becomes warranted — like yelling to alert others to danger — many times, it’s not. I’m guilty of getting irked in a checkout line when some inconsiderate shopper rudely cut in front of me. I clenched my teeth and narrowed my eyes until I saw the “Enter Here” sign I missed as I sheepishly became the culprit who’d unknowingly cut off 14 other shoppers in line.

I suspect you're thinking, "So, we’re human and often hot-tempered. Got it. So, what to do?”

To this I reply, “Try Yin Yoga.”

“Great,” you retort. “What's that?”

Yin Yoga is a slower, meditative style of yoga that targets deeper connective tissues like fascia, joints, tendons, ligaments, and even bones. This therapeutic series of postures does more than improve the pliability and mobility of your body. It also serves as a mindful practice to bear witness to your capacity to be both alert and still — both conscious and settled.

These postures — yoga asana — take you to where you feel an “edge,” or a curiously introspective resistance in the body. It’s like the guttural “oof” from a deep stretch where you feel your body’s miraculous capacity to be alive. This feeling has been called a “beautiful stress.”

And then you wait. Maybe it’s one, five, or seven minutes. You wait and watch yourself live in the pose as you approach a settled stillness, like a lake falling still after the wake of a passing boat.

In that waiting, something extraordinary happens. Over time, you cease to react erratically to your experiences in favor of becoming fully present to them. You practice observing and accepting the world as it is, aware and embodied.

Then you apply these techniques to life off the mat. You observe the erratic driver weaving in and out of traffic, not with heated judgement, but with calm curiosity. You note your financially struggling friend’s night out not with dismay but with a serenely passing recognition. And you can do these things over time because you learned to settle yourself first.

Neuroscience research shows that the only way we can change the way we feel is by becoming aware of our inner experience and learning to befriend what is going on inside ourselves.
-Bessel A. van der Kolk

Yin Yoga is a roadmap to our inner landscape. And, it’s a complimentary practice to help us drop into deeper states of rest, which is useful in practices like Reiki.